because not every woman wants to be called a slut. like, why would you apply a slur to a woman who you do not know wants to reclaim that slur? there are other reasons, and other people have articulated this far better than i have the spoons for right now, but truly, i hate that term. call it woman-hating, call it misogyny, call it anything else. just not slut-shaming.
(Hmm, Tumblr deleted my first replies, still learning Tumblr, must get better at Tumblr.)
I agree that we should be careful applying slurs to women who might not want to reclaim them. There’s obviously the same issue with “whorephobia” but I can’t really speak to that as I’ve never been a sex worker and am still doing my learning in that area.
Similar issue with “cunt”. I.e. no way am I policing the way a woman wants to talk about her own body or how she wants to use the word herself, but don’t know how I’d feel if another woman talked about my genitals using the word “cunt”. (And obv this is outside of reclaiming territory but I have almost no patience for men using “cunt” in any context.) (Though I still don’t have the most concrete policy on “cunt” tbh.)
I hate “bitch”. Hate. HATE. I think in no context but canines is that word not misogynist. But if I’m not going to tell a woman not to apply it to herself, obviously, and there are dialects where “bitch” is a battlefield that I have the privilege of not having to fight. I’m going to take this opportunity to link a post of gradientlair's that discusses “bitch” and other words.
Anyway. The only problem I have with using just “misogyny” in place of “slut-shaming” etc. is that it misses the sexual dimension, i.e. that a woman is being shamed for behaviour or dress deemed by misogynists as “slutty” and by identifying the sexual element we challenge the premise of “slut”. I tend to use “shaming” to make it clear that there’s shaming happening but am totally fine with talking about “slut-shaming” that’s happened to me or if another woman talks about it happening to her.
The reply that actually made it through was:
I’m not interested in reclaiming “slut” either but when I use “slut-shaming” (only ever re my own experience) I see it as a comment on the attitude of the person doing the shaming, i.e. that they probably operate on some form of the sluts and not-sluts continuum, or accept a dichotomy of same, which I utterly reject.
I found this, which talks abut why we need words like “slut-shaming” and “whorephobia”.